The end of 2008

We were suppose to be going out tonight and ringing in 2009 at Bill and Amanda's. But instead we will be home as I am sick again. Sucks to start the year off with a cold, but what can you do. I just hope this will be out of my system for Alexis' wedding next week. So for now, I think I'll go take a nap, and try to sleep off this cold.

Happy 2009!!!!!!

One word for work today...

...DEAD

Bye Bye 2008

Christmas has come and gone. Mikey, Eric and Rachael came home for Christmas. We spent a lot of time hanging out with the whole family. It was nice to see everyone. I'm just sad, because I think this will be the last time we are all together for a really, really long time. But now everyone is back home safe getting ready for 2009 and Alexis's Wedding.

This year has been a pretty interesting year. It's been full of it ups and ALOT of downs. Our quest for a baby will continue into 2009. Now it looks like we have to go straight to a fertility specialist. But I still have some questions that my OB will need to answer. But the quest continues.

I'm amazed how quickly this year has gone by. I think back about all the things I wanted to do this year and realized that I didn't accomplish many of the things I wanted to. I promise myself that next year will be different and I will accomplish more then I did this year. I will make small goals and complete them and move on to the next thing when done.

This time next year, I want to look back and be proud of what I've accomplished in 2009. Instead of looking back and wondering how I let another year pass me by.

Roller Coaster of Emotion

The past 2 weeks have sent me on a roller coaster of emotions that you would not believe. Greg losing his job has changed the way I look at life and money in a way I never looked at it before. I'm thankful for the roof over my head, the clothes on my back and the food on my table. I realize how fortunate we've been to be able to buy the things that we have. We'd go shopping and pick up things and not worry about money. Today we look at every single dollar and wonder how to make it last. It amazes me how life as you know it can change in a second. We're grateful to have family and friends who love and support us. Times are tough, but I know we'll be okay. All we can do is take one day at a time right now. You never know what tomorrow will bring. You just have to hope for the best.

Almost Midnight

My GoD! I've not been awake this late in months!!! The past few weeks, I've been asleep by 9. Yes I know sad.

Happy B-Day Mom!!!

Today is my Mom's 60th Birthday. Happy Birthday Mom... I love you!

Freezing

Today it is 31 with a wind chill of about 12. It is the kind of cold that chills you to your bones. It's way too early for it to be this cold. It's not even winter yet! God help us!!!!

Round 2

Round 2 of this bug just kicked in. Good GOD will it ever go away? Enough already!

Web Sites

I'm bored looking at the same old websites day in and day out. I need some new ones to look at...any suggestions?????????

Trying to think positive

With being sick and now with the lovely news that we're down to one income...I'm trying to think positive. I'm hoping that if I do, good things will come our way. There are now thousands of folks looking for jobs. I'm just hoping with the networking we've done that someone will give Greg a chance.

Shitty Times

Well - the tick is done tocking.... DuPont cut all 4,000 contractors (one of them being Greg) and 2,500 actual employess. Shitty times for many folks today. I am scared to death...but can only pray things will get better. They must, they have too....Right????????????

Tick-tock!

I received some wonderful news Tuesday night from Greg. The product that his entire team has been working on has just been cut. More annoucments will be made in 10 days. Ummm.. yea... we see were this is going. No product usually means now work...which will probably mean bye, bye to Greg's job. Since then, I have been an absolute wreck. The fact that I am sick isn't helping things either. I'm mad at because they told his team that they had a budget until the end of 2009. They were making progress and then they drop this bomb. So right now I feel like our life is in slow motion. With the way the world is today, I have a very hard time beleving or trusting anyone. I feel like there is no safe place to be right now. Everyone is losing there jobs no matter where you turn. What the hell is happening? How come it's gotten this bad? Who can you trust? What can you do? I'm trying to stay positive but that is really, really hard with the way things are today. Will it ever get better?

Just when you think it can't get any worse....

It DOES!!!!

and no I'm not complaining about being sick

1:00 Tomorrow

Just called my doctors office and she had a 10:40 today - which I can't make. Then 1:00 tomorrow was her first appointment and I jumped on that one! The cough has kicked back up again and is kicking my ass. God help me.... please check on my throughout the day to ensure I am still breathing. I feel like I'm sucking air through a straw!

Getting worse

This bug that I've been fighting for over a week now has gotten worse. It has gone to my chest. Having a hard time breathing and the cough is just getting annoying. I thought this would be a bug I could fight on my own and would go away, but I've lost that battle. So I must call to see if I can get in to see my doctor sometime in the next few days. I have a bad feeling that I think she'll tell me I now have bronchitis, which is never fun for me. God I love this time of year!

Losing Control

Today I cried...I cried A LOT! With all the running around for Alexis's shower and then having to get ready to host Thanksgiving and now having to get ready for Christmas...I just stood in the kitchen today and cried. I feel lost, like I don't have control of my life. I'm doing everything for everyone else and putting myself last... AGAIN! DAMN IT - how did I let this happen???????? I told Greg that all I want to do is disappear for a while. Which I know I can't do, but would be great if I could. So now that I've got that cry over with, I feel a little better. But I still feel lost and I don't know where to start to get control of my life again. Lex's Bachlorette party is Saturday in Atlantic City and I don't want to go. So add that to the list of crap that's bothering me. Along with dealing with this bug for the past week and a half now that comes and goes in waves. I'm just a lovely little mess.

How to a regain control of my life when everyone is pulling me in different directions? How do I say NO to people without feeling like crap and worrying about what they think of me for saying no. Why do I even care?

The Plan

Tonight we are having pizza. We will clean to prepare for all of our guests tomorrow. We are trying something new this year....we are cooking the Turkey tonight so the oven is free tomorrow for the rest of the dishes we need to prepare. Last year with all the food we prepared we really needed two ovens and two refrigerators. Our goal is not to have the stress we've had the past few years on Thanksgiving. Wish us luck!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Can't be good

Looking out my window I see a truck called "Premiere Pest Services" at a house to the right of us in a different cluster of Townhouses then ours. Thinking if I was their neighbors I would be a bit concerned.

Blah Days

I've felt BLAH these past few days. Feeling like I'm fighting the beginnings of the flu...cold and achy. I guess all the running around for Alexis's Bridal Shower this weekend finally pushed me over my limits. Not in the mood to be social or want to talk to anyone. I'm REALLY not in the mood to work... but must. Thanksgiving is 2 days away and we have A LOT to get done for the dinner we are hosting. It will be nice to get everyone together and enjoy this time of the year. I must figure out how to shake this Blah feeling....Any suggestions????

Done being Nice

I am done being nice. I go out of my way to help everyone and make their lives easier and it's never enough. I end up getting screwed and shit on no matter what I do. Today was the last straw, I'm DONE!

Thanks News Journal

While looking at my local news paper online this morning, I came acrossed this article. I would just like to thank my local news paper for making me feel like CRAP. I did not need to be reminded that many turkeys lives are about to be over. The lovely picture of the Turkeys that you added to this article didn't help! Now I will have these visions of their faces everytime I look at our turkey this year. So thanks again for making me feel like crap News Journal!!!

Fortune

Cleaning my office today I found this fortune...


"Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded."


I hope there is some truth to this!

Sigh

I hate the 6th day of the month and 31 is not my lucky number. Another no success this month. But am trying to stay positive.

My friend sent me a text message a few weeks back that said..."If I had money I'd send you flowers 2 let u know that I was thinking of u. Instead ur stuck getting this cheap txt. LOL. luv u!"

I called her and asked her what this was all about, she said it was because I do so much for everyone else and never get anything in return. When she said this, it hit me like a ton of bricks. She was right. But me being well ME...have never asked for anything from anyone, that's just the way that I am.

The fact that she recognized what was going on and took a moment to send me a note meant more to me then flowers. If felt good to finally have someone acknowledge me. I give "alligot" to everything in my life, and recently I've felt like why should I bother? Nobody else seems to care so why should I?

Sigh

Election Day 2008

Yes - it is finally here. I can only imagine I am not the only person happy to see the end of the political nightmare that has gone on for almost 2 years. Hoping that we have a decision this evening and there is no drama like in past elections. But this day leads me to ask a couple of questions....

Why is my polling place 2 miles away from me? When I have 3 polling places within walking distance (quarter of a mile to a half a mile away) from my home?
I found this odd when we went to breakfast this morning and then headed over to our polling place (the High School) to check out the line to see if I could vote and be done before my morning calls. The line was about 100 people deep so we decided to come back later. On our way back home we passed 3 other polling places that had very little line, if any. This got us wondering why we had to truck across town when we could go vote literally in our backyard.

What happens to all the signs?

For the candidates that lose, what do they do next?

Does President Bush start working with the President Elect on turning over the Presidents office over the next few months?

Will Sara Palin really give all her clothes to charity if she loses?

Wondering why in today's world that the color of the candidates skin is still an issue for many folks?

My Podunk Little Town

My Podunk little town is moving up in the world - we now have a Super Walmart! I’m not a real frequent shopper at Walmart, since most are so far away from us. But now that one is just right around the corner I’ll may be there a little more often….maybe. It just opened Wednesday, so we decided to head over last night at 8:30…and OMG the line to get out of that place was amazing. The store is HUGE!!!!!! Bigger then other Super Walmarts I’ve been in. But there is one thing that remained the same….some of the people! All I can say is WOW!!!! I’ve lived in this town for 6 years and have never seen as many characters last night all in one place. And no… they were not dressed up for Halloween! Now that our first Walmart experience is over with, I’m not in a big hurry to rush on over there. It’s just good to know that I can drive less then 5 mins and pick up the things we need and not have to drive a half hour or more now.

So Congratulations to my Podunk little town for moving up in the world. First we got a Kohls and now a Super Walmart….can’t wait for the Target, Best Buy, PetSmart, Staples and all the other fine stores they plan on building.

Levels are in

Progesterone Levels came back as 18.5. Which is really really good...means things are still working correctly. Have had slight cramps the past two days, which is very unusual for me. Hummmmmmmmm?!?

A new dryer!

OK how sad, pathetic (or whatever you want to call me)am I when a new dryer makes me so very happy? We installed our new dryer yesterday, and I have to say that I LOVE it! To have a dryer that actually dries clothes and towels in one cycle is the best thing in the world. Our old dryer took 3 cycles to dry a single load. Now that things are drying in one cycle is a complete joy to me. Now doing laundry doesn't take a million hours to do anymore. Loving life!

Trying to stay awake

After an hour and a half rain delay the 3rd game in the World Series is finally underway. The Phillies are up 2 to 1 in the top of the 5th and I'm wishing the game was already over. So I am trying to stay awake and hang out with Greg. Not sure how long I'll be able to stay awake....very, very tired.

Level 2

I haven't worked out in over a week...well it is knocking on almost 2 weeks now. BAD me I know. But today...I actually took lunch and worked out! I decided to try level 2. Man did it kick my ass...All my joints now hurt... Ouch!

Dear Friend,

Times are tough right now for you, and I'm sorry. There are many things that you're probably trying to figure out. I know there is not much I can do to help being so far away. But know that I care and I am thinking about all of you. You've been through a lot today, so I'll let you be with your family. I will call you tomorrow and see how things are going.

Love,
Your Friend

Wedding Song

I'm listening to my playlist in iTunes called "Laurie's Favorites". It has a mix of every type of music in it. I have about 20 hours of music to listen to in just this one playlist...it's great! So I have it on shuffle so I get a mix of Country, Oldies, 80/90's hits... (well you get the idea --- a little bit of everything). It shuffles to Our Wedding Song... "It's your Love" by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. Love that song.... but after listening to it, I realized that I feel closer and more in love with Greg now then the day we got married. So it had me thinking if this happens to other people, are they more in love with the one they married now then on their wedding day? What does there Wedding Song mean to them when they hear it?

1 Win Away

Phillies are now 1 win away to their first World Series game since 1993. Watched the game while catching up on some work...All I can say was "that was a LONG ASS GAME!" Thank goodness they won...They are now up 3 games to 1 to the Dodgers, so 1 more nail biting game to go...

Finally Friday

It is finally Friday and that makes me happy. Had a pretty good week this week. We've worked out everyday and are taking time out for us. I don't think we've watch a single moment of news this week, which has helped our overall mood. I'm going to try the "less I know the better off I am" theory. Because the more I know about what is going on in the world, the more worried I get. I am trying to focus on things I have control of.

Spoke to Michelle at the OB's office yesterday. I feel so much better talking to her instead of those Joe Blow nurses they have answering the phone. Dr. Ostrum has agreed to let me continue with the Clomid until the end of the year. Since this cycle would only be the 4th cycle my body is actually normal with the surgery, I didn't want to go straight to IVF without trying. I struggled with this decision, because I so badly want a child, however I want to give us (well me) a chance to do this. This was important to me...I didn't want to give up just yet. Does that make sense? New round of Med picked up yesterday. New prenatal vitamins to try. I'm feeling good about this. I will see Ostrum in a few weeks once he recoups from his surgery for my yearly check-up. No rush in that department...so when he gets back and caught up I'll see him. But until then... we keep trying.

I have a lot to do today, but don't really want to do any of it. But must.

Thinking ahead to the weekend...we are headed to the beach again tomorrow. Will come back Monday. I will work a little Monday night. Mom has surgery on her hand on Tuesday, so most of my day will be with her. Normal routine the rest of the week, then on Saturday, I meet with the girls in Alexis's wedding to talk about the plans for her shower. A lot going on next week, but nothing I can't handle.

Our World Today...

With what is happening with our world today, I just want to crawl in a hole and not come out. I'm listening to the Presidential Debate while working...and I just want to scream. This world is such a disaster right now that it is making me sick. I am worried now more then ever about everything. My job, my husbands job, our money, paying off our debt, my home (that I'll probably be living in forever now), our future, our unborn children's future...everything! I know I'm not alone is this boat of worry. I know for my sanity that I have to stop worrying about all this. Guess I wouldn't be human, if I didn't worry.

Am I the only who doesn't want to turn on the TV or read the paper or look at the Internet anymore? Am I the only one that wants to crawl in a hole and block the rest of the world out?

Work outs

Yesterday we spent about an hour playing tennis. Today we did the shred. 20 minutes doing the shred kicked my ass more then the hour of tennis.

Taking time for me

As you know I've joined the 30 day shred bandwagon. Not only has this got me exercising, but it has helped me realized how much time I spend on everything else but me. For almost a week now, I've been doing some sort of exercising, eating better, drinking more water and taking time for me every night before I go to bed. I've realized again that I'm the only one responsible for me. Time for me to take care of me.

Stairs Suck

Okay --- legs are killing me. Stairs suck. Must take Advil now!!!!

Phillies

Brought my laptop into the other room to hang out with Greg since he is working from home today too. He turned on the Phillies game and as of right now they are winning 3-0 against the Brewers. This is game 1 of the playoffs. Thought it was odd that the game started at 3:07 this afternoon instead of later. Kinda surprised that the stadium is as packed as it is considering it is an early afternoon game. I wonder how many lies were told to bosses today.

Go Phillies!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 2

Day 2 of the Shred. The workout was easier today then yesterday. Greg is working from home today so he joined me in the fun. Thinking he wants to kill me now, however he said he'd keep doing it with me. Woke up this morning very sore. Feeling better now, but man... I'm working muscles that I haven't used in years! My legs, arms and shoulders are killing me...WOW!!!!

October

Tomorrow is the first day of October. Ummm...Hello where the hell has this year gone? Am I the only one who feels like time is just spinning out of control.

Day 1 Done

My Day 1 of the 30day Shred is complete. Boy am I happy it's only a 20min workout. Level 1 kicked my butt a little, but I can see where it is going to get easier as I work at it more. I'll stick with Level 1 for a few more days before I jump into Level 2. Don't want to run away screaming from the DVD yet.

Mom the Mess

My Mom is a Mess what more can I say. She has to have surgery on her right hand to relieve the carpal tunnel. Her left hand may need it eventually too. She still can not lift her left arm. The doctors are talking about surgery on her shoulder to shave down the bone spur. She also has to have an open MRI done on her lower back and a full blood work up done too. She is a mess and I feel bad for her. She's not even 60 yet...Man I don't want to get old.

The Beginning

Today will be my first day of the 30 Day Shred. Last night we got home after 8,so there was no working out for me. But today is the beginning...I picked up my weights last night too, so I am all set! I'm excited!

Exhausting Saturday

Our day started @ 7:15 when we woke up. We were out of the house by 8:30. Went to breakfast at a local Cafe, then went to the produce stand and then the supermarket. Came home unloaded the car and put things away. Hung out for about a half hour and then out the door we went again. Headed North up to Concord Pike. Grabbed some lunch, went shopping for jeans. Found jeans and pants that were on sale. Went to Bed Bath and Beyond - Good GOD was that a mistake! Then onto PetSmart for cat food. I did a good deed for the day and helped a man and his wife pick out food for their two cats. Thing to note is that this guy spoke very little english so I had a little bit of a challenge, but I ended up helping him and pointing a few good things out to him that he would have never known.

It was time to head South back to the Newark area...To Costco we go to fight the weekend madness. That store wasn't as nearly as bad as I though it would be. By the time we got out of there is was almost 5. Headed over to Borders Books and grabbed a Latte and searched high and low for the 30 day Shred. Finally found it after I had given up. Off to pick up dinner at decided on Burgers at 5 Guys. Then from there we headed to Walmart and then finally home.

Unloaded the car again and went upstairs to get changed. Were I went into a panic. We couldn't find Felix (one of our cats) Felix normally is sitting by the door when we come home. Tonight.. no Felix. We called his name and that normally get him running. Nothing....broke out the toys and treats and searched every corner of our house. Still no Felix. No meowing... crying.. nothing. Holy Hell - Felix is gone. I begin to panic and go out side and yell for him. Don't know what I was thinking as he never ever left the house. You can only imagine the thoughts that ran through my head.....UGH! Felix was gone forever! I went back inside and yelled for Greg to see if he had found him. Still nothing. I joined Greg in the basement looking in every spot that a cat could possibly get into. Still nothing. Not good... And then..... I looked up... and saw Felix. He was walking around in the floor joist! Greg and I both stood there with immediate relief.... Felix had the look of "Oh Shit I'm in trouble on his face". I really do think he got up there and didn't know how to get down. He's not a jumper, so how he managed to climb up there, we have no idea. Our other cat Sophie does it occasionally, but she just has a death wish. She is the same cat that walks on our banister. So to find Felix up there was a complete shock... and the little shit wasn't making a sound. Lord only knows how long he was up there.... but I'm pretty sure he had no clue on how to get down. So after a long day of running around...and the panic of one of our cats almost missing... We are exhausted. I plan on sleeping in a little tomorrow. Cleaning a little and doing a little baking for dinner tomorrow night at Steve and Erin's. Oh... I will start my 30 Day Shred tomorrow too. Wish me luck.

Bless Me.....

Since Saturday I've been having these sneezing fits that are driving me crazy. They are mainly in the morning and are just overall annoying. I've contemplated calling my doctor for something to help this...however, I just don't want to go see her. Because then it turns into a all morning thing... going, waiting, and hearing the lecture... Not in the mood...so I will put up with this as long as my stubborn ass will deal with all the sneezing, runny nose, sore throat and headaches. Ugh....someone just bless me please!

One good thing about today...

is that we got word that Mikey is going to be home for Christmas. He is stationed in Hawaii (poor guy) with the Marines. He'll be home Dec. 18-28 (as of now) and then will head back to Hawaii and then to training in California before he get deployed to god knows where. Can't wait to see him!

A Good Morning

While on vacation, Greg and I talked about changes that we needed to start making once we got back home. We got off to a pretty rocky start the first two days this week, but this morning we did what we set out to do. We woke up early and went for a walk, ate breakfast and then showered and got ready for our work day. It was so nice. For the past two days, we didn’t get our walks in after dinner so that has been a bit disappointing. So we stuck to our plan this morning and did it. I plan on keeping this up and make it part of my (our) everyday routine. The morning is the only time I can get my exercising in, so I have no other choice then to adjust my schedule. I’m excited about the changes we are making… it was a good morning.

Back from vacation SUCKS!

I've been back to work for two days now and I feel like I've worked 800 Billion hours so far. Why is coming back from vacation so hard? This SUCKS!

HOME

We are home and back from vacation. It's always nice to go away, but it is great to be back home. We spent the day, unpacking and getting things in from the store. Now we are relaxing and watching TV for the first time in over a week. I'm looking forward to getting back into a normal routine. I'm not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, but who does when the come back from vacation?

Our time away was well needed. It was great to take my parents on their first real vacation in over 30 years. And yes, I am still mad at my mom. But I've come to the conclusion that I can't change or worry about her anymore. I have other things in my life I must focus my attention on. Going away tends to clear my head and allow me to refocus on what is important in my life. We are more focused now then ever before on us, working out, paying off bills, having fun and not stressing about the small stuff. Ahh... life is good, it's amazing what a little time away will do for you.

Rain

Today it has been raining off and on all day. Which blows because I really wanted spend some more time on the beach. So we went to lunch and then drove around the island some more. We saw what I consider to be the worlds cheesiest Light House. We then went and got dinner for the night and came back to the house. Were we've read and played a game of 500 Rummy. Cooked Dinner and now we are just sitting around watching TV. My mom is pissed off at me and I haven't said anything to her. Dad told her I was mad, so I"m sure that has something to do with it. So now she is playing the victim and wants everyone to feel sorry for her. Ummm... nope not going to happen. Have fun feeling sorry for yourself. I'm sure the rest of this vacation is just going to be LOVELY!

Warning - Venting Blog!

***Warning ---- This Blog is a pure venting blog and is written with a lot of hurt and anger. As you read this, you may think I am a true BITCH.... Which right now, I am and i think I have every right to be. I can't vent to anyone else right now... so this is the only place I can escape to. ****

My mom is smoking again.... and I am having a very, very hard time with it. She tried to hide it on our way down Saturday, but I saw the cigarettes when I looked in her purse. There were only a few and when I saw them I should have thrown them out. But I didn't. When we arrived at the house we are staying at... I was outside talking with my mom ( I followed her when she went outside). Dad was walking the dog and came back up and was talking with us, then Dad and I started walking back to the house, Mom stayed still. Dad then turned to her and said are you going to have a cigarette and she just had this blank stare on her face. I then turned around and told her..."You don't have to hide it, I know you are smoking again" and I walked away. But I couldn't leave it at that. I went into the house and then went back outside to confront her about it. I got the BS answer I was expecting to hear from her. This whole thing with her arm has really scared her. She says she doesn't even finish one and doesn't even need it... Blah.. Blah.. Blah crap. But do you think , she has stopped since Saturday. NOPE! And oh smart one.... do you think you picking up smoking again is going to help you if you have to have surgery to fix your arm. You can't lift your arm up... but you can sure lift those smokes to your mouth! How fucking smart are you!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every time I hear her go outside, or see her smoking the anger grows even deeper. I love my mom, but right now, I HATE her! I do! It is wrong to say that about any parent, but at this moment in my life I do. It kills me because, I know that if she continues to do this that she will end up like my grandmother dead @ 69 (or before). All because of the damn cigarettes. She stopped smoking at the beginning of the year, for what I thought would be for good. Now I thought that she had been smoke free for 9 months, but since she said she's been smoking for few weeks now, I don't even know what to believe. She could have been smoking the entire time for all I know. My mom lies....a lot! I hear one thing from Dad and present it to her and she tells me know, and she feeds me BS that she thinks I want to hear and she thinks she is smart. Just like Mom Mom use to do. Her smokers cough is back, worse now.... She can hardly breath....she goes right for her inhaler as soon as she comes back in from having a smoke. Ummm... Hello, your body is telling you NOT to smoke! What part of that don't you get!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!

I know this seems like a BS Blog, and I should stop bitching about my mom, but I can't. I know she is an adult and can do what she wants but she is killing herself. And I can't just stand around and let her do it. I've been in a pretty pissy mood all vacation, because I'm upset with her. To the point that I don't even want to talk to her. And I think she knows it.


I know if she continues, I will push myself further and further away from her, to the point I didn't think I would ever get with her. I will become numb and write her our of my life, like I did my Uncle. When as he was dying... I didn't look at him and fell sad that he was dying of liver failure. I was numb... All I remember thinking.. is you got what you deserved. I hope all the partying and drinking was worth it. Well... I hate to say this, but that is probably the attitude that I'll have with my mom. As she is hacking up a lung and can't breath. I'm not going to ask her if she is okay... I'm just going to ignore her. If she is too fucking stupid to figure out that crap is going to kill her... then fine... if that is the way you want to go out...then smoke away. But damn it... don't look to me for compassion or sympathy when your lying in the hospital with oxygen hooked up to you or your on a ventilator. And oh yea... I remember this decision you made to start smoking again, when the grandkids come around. Hope those little sticks will bring you lots of joy. Because, I will not be bringing them to see you if you still are smoking. Think I won't... Keep smoking and you'll find out.

Halfway

Well we are half way through our vacation in Hilton Head, SC. I can tell you that it has been a nice vacation so far. The weather has been great. We drove into Tropical Storm Hanna on Saturday, but it cleared up by the time we went to made it to SC for lunch. We've spent time on the beach, driving around the island, relaxing and taking it easy. Today we went to Savannah, GA and took a trolley tour of old Savannah. We ate at The Lady and Son's Restaurant which is owned by Paula Deen and her 2 Son's. Food was very good. Would recommend anyone passing thru Savannah, to swing on by. Don't have to much planned for the rest of the vacation. Tomorrow I think we'll head back to the beach. Dad and Greg plan on getting up early tomorrow morning to go fishing, so I'm not sure what else the day will bring.

Relaxing...

Right now I'm relaxing and taking a break. I have a list of things to get done for our vacation, but I have no interest in doing any of it right now. I know tomorrow I'll be going non-stop so I'm cherishing this time to relax. This time tomorrow night I want to be in bed as we are leaving at 3am Saturday. So up at 2 for me. Yea.... who am I kidding.... I never get to bed the night before we leave for anywhere... UGH........guess I better go get crap done now. Wish me luck.

Remind me...

...never to write a blog at 6 am in the morning again. I can't type worth shit!!!

Upset with my Mom

I'm upset with my Mom, because I know that she is smoking again. I know this because twice now, I've been on the phone with her and can here her sucking in air. The sound that I am all too familiar with since she smoke my entire life. Plus the fact that she was outside talking to me on the phone while my Dad went to pick up dinner. My mom never goes outside. I called her out on it before and she denied it. But since I'm not there I have no proof.

So last night I got off the phone and went outside to talk to Greg and told him that I know my mom is smoking again. And he told me that she was! I flipped. My parents were down Sunday and somehow he brought up my Mom smoking to my Dad and he told her that she was only smoking when her friend Pat came around. But obviously Pat wasn't around while I was talking with her on the phone, so she is doing it more then what Dad thinks. Or Dad knows and isn't saying anything, which is probably the case. I am mad at her because she is sneaking around and lying about it. Here I thought for 9 months she's quit, but I guess she fooled me. So now I get to spend a week on vacation with her, and you better believe I'm going to be watching her like a hawk and will bring it up. As Greg said to me last night..."well if she is smoking again, she'll have another week to stop, because she's not smoking around us." UGH..... I'm so angry at her.

Not feeling so hot

Yesterday afternoon, I could tell I was starting to get a migraine and felt like my stomach was upset. So I took some Advil and went to lay down. About an hour later I woke up feeling much better, but I was extremely hot. This morning, I woke up feeling the same way. The headache is slight, but my tummy doesn't feel to hot. Naturally all I want to do is curl up in a ball and go back to bed, but I can't. I hope this passes soon. We leave for vacation Saturday...Ugh.

Oh...I guess I should mention that my OB's nurse told me that I had a spike in my progesterone levels this month to 26.5. My highest levels ever. And usually when they see spikes like this that means that you've been successful in getting pregnant. But since my period isn't suppose to hit me until Saturday, the freaking waiting game is killing me. I've take 2 pregnancy test so far only for them to literally yell back at me that I wasn't pregnant. I won't take anymore until my period is late.

Add all this together....and...well...make your on conclusion. But my body is evil like that and I swear it hates me. I'm just going to wait to see what Saturday brings.

Life is Good!!!

Ahhhh...We have a 3 day weekend ahead of us. A 4 day work week next week and then 9 glorious days off for vacation. Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just try...

For the first time in my life, I’m actually considering moving out of Delaware. I’ve always said that I wouldn’t move because I’m the only family left for my Mom and Dad and I need to stay close for them. But recently I’ve been thinking about my life with Greg and what we need to do for us and our future. Greg is miserable at DuPont and can’t find a job that he would truly be happy doing in this area. He’s found jobs in Florida and other states that he’d be qualified for and could be really happy at. I’ve told him many times, to apply for the jobs to see if he’d get a call back, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t because he knows I don’t want to move. However, I think if he had a job offer and it made sense to move then I would. He’s been miserable lately and it kills me, at this point I would do anything for him to be happy. Even if that meant leaving Delaware and my parents behind. I just wish he would try and see what happens.

Twitter

Okay - I'm thinking about hanging up my Twitter hat. I rarely update it anymore so I truly see not point of even having it around. So I'm thinking about putting an axe to it all together and go back to just blogging. Which I've not done much either since I've been insanely busy. So I ask you this ---

To Twit or not to Twit, that is the question. LOL!!!

NO AC

Since Friday night - we've had our windows open and our ac off! The weather has been perfect. Low 80's during the day and in the 60's at night. No humidity which make the 80 degrees perfect! Having the windows open and the air off has been wonderful! I wish it stayed like this all year long.

To the Beach!

We are now just going to the beach Thursday night and skipping the concert all together. No I didn't buy the tickets yet, so were not out anything. We talked it over and though it would be nice to see Montgomery Gentry, but we really weren't that excited about seeing them. Plus the fact we'd have to drive almost 2 hours helped us to decide to go directly to the beach. I can't WAIT!!!!!

It's Sunday Night...

...That means tomorrow is Monday, and the INSANE mess at work starts back up again. UGH!!!!!!! We had a good weekend, my party Friday night went well. I'm getting a lot of free jewelry...Free is always good. Yesterday we went to our local produce farm and picked our own peppers and tomatoes. That was a lot of fun. I was like a kid in a candy store. I love tomatoes and there is nothing better then a good ripe tomato during the summer....Yum! We brought dinner up to my Mom and Dad last night. We talked about our vacation to Hilton Head, SC in September. It is less then a month away now and everyone is looking forward to going away. I'm thrilled that I'm finally getting my parents out of Delaware and on a real vacation. This is our first small step to get them to go on a bigger vacation like a cruise. So we spent a good deal of the night looking at the place we rented and talking about things we wanted to do. I can't wait!!!! Today we crashed...We cleaned up a bit and took a well needed NAP. It was great! I love relaxing Sunday's!!! Now we are watching the Olympics and cheering for the USA to kick butt! I'm sad that this weekend is over...the weekends are never long enough, but I look forward to a short work week ahead. Thursday afternoon I cut out of work a bit early and head to a concert with Greg. Montgomery Gentry in Salisbury, MD. It's a bit of a hike for us, but the concerts there are GREAT! After the concert we'll head over to mom-mom's and spend the weekend with her. We'll relax, spend some time on the beach, hang out with friends and family and go out to dinner at one of my favorite places to eat Striper Bites. I can't wait!

Southwest Airlines Commercial

Asks: "Wanna get away?'

Answer: YES! Right NOW!!!!!!!!

Incompetent People

I have had it today, with incompetent people who do not know how to read or follow directions. I have spent two days holding the hands of many folks on my team about how to complete their financials. Mind you - many of them waited until the day it was due to work on them and of course all the questions came out. They made the financials much easier AND they gave step-by-step direction on how to complete them. AND still they don't get it! How can this be? I just don't understand, why people don't read and follow directions. Reading is not rocket science people. Why are people so lazy?

Little things about me

• I’m Irish.
• I’m 5’10
• I have wide feet and wear a size 10W shoe.
• I hate shoe shopping!
• I’m very ticklish.
• I like to laugh at stupid jokes.
• I find humor in the weirdest things.
• The little things in life make me happy.
• I LOVE the sound of a baby laughing.
• I want a big family.
• I have a fear of snakes.
• I can’t spell worth shit. (Thank god for spell check)
• I can count my true friends on one hand.
• I hate going into the local farmers market, because it is run by the Amish. They freak me out! Let me explain - I wouldn’t say I’m afraid of the Amish, I just don’t like them. This goes back from my childhood and watching the movie Children of the Corn. I don’t remember much about it except the boy dressed like an Amish person, and I was scared to death of that movie. Corn fields scared me for the longest time. So my husband thinks it is hilarious that I don’t like to talk or look at any of the Amish folks at our local farmers market.(Stop laughing at me please, I am sensitive)
• I hate the sound of bag pipes.
• I’m moody.
• I love flowers.
• Lately I’ve enjoyed reading more then doing anything else. I was never much of a reader growing up. I hated it, but now I LOVE it. I’ve read over 10 books so far this year, for me that is A LOT.
• I’ve repainted my living room 3 times in the 6 years we’ve lived in this house.
• I’m a procrastinator.
• I suck at Math.
• I’ve always lived in Delaware.
• I hardly ever cook, because my husband cooks all the time and does it so well.
• I enjoy scrapbooking, but hardly spend any time doing in it.
• I love taking photographs.
• I enjoy listening to music.
• Love going to concerts.
• I don’t have a favorite color.
• I graduated from College with Honors.
• I like to talk, sometimes way to much…so I’ve learned to be quiet.
• I’ve stopped listening to what other people think I should do.

To the Rain Gods

Dear Rain Gods - Our grass is now brown,dead and burnt. I don't remember what green grass looks like. The brief 5 min down pour once a week, doesn't help much. I beg to you to send rain...please. This hot 90 + weather blue is nice, but a little relief is needed.

Felix's Wake-up Call

This morning I was awakened by my cat( Felix) throwing up ON MY BED! Of all the places in this house why the bed? Ugh...What a way to start off a day… Happy Friday!!!!

Time to Relax

Living Room is painted and done. All that is left to do is paint the ceiling (for the entire down stairs) and install the crown (in the living room). It looks really good as it is now, but those final two things will really finish it off. We are cleaning up now and will head for the beach around 3. Most of the family will be down over the weekend, so this should be fun. I'm ready to kick back and relax. I'm leaving all my worries and frustrations here and really enjoying myself....It is time to Relax!

Have a great 4th of July!!!!!!

Hurry up 5:00 Friday!

We are on vacation next week…and I can’t wait. 5:00 Friday can’t get here fast enough for me. We’ve had A LOT going on with questions about Greg’s work and what direction he needs to take, and as you can imagine that has weighed heavily on both of us. So a week away will do us good.

Next week we’ll spend time at the beach and at home. We’re leaving for the beach Saturday morning. Greg is taking a Tuna Charter Boat on Monday. We’ll probably come home Tuesday to check on the cats and get some work done around the house that we’ve been putting off. Then I think we’ll go back down to the beach Thursday and hang out until Sunday. Mom Mom’s birthday is on the 4th, she’ll be 85. Don't know what were doing yet to celebrate her birthday, but I'm sure we'll have fun.

Hurry up 5:00 Friday!!!!

Fight anyone?

I am very annoyed at almost everything and anyone today. I somehow can not let the little shit go, and I really need to. It is almost 11:00 and I am so tense that I feel like I could go 10 rounds in a boxing match. Anyone dare to take me on?

My lower back has been bothering me for a few days now. Matter of fact, it's been bothering me for a few months. The pain is chronic and comes and goes. I know it is all stress related. As I can pin point it NOT being around when I'm relaxed and having fun. Today is obviously one of those days that I am NOT having fun. Will make an appointment next week to see my family doctor to see what's going on. I only hope that this isn't another UTI again.

Hoping tomorrow is a better day and I don't kill someone or say something that will get me in trouble.

Hot!

Today's Heat Index is 104. It's so thick that you could cut it with a knief. Cold front coming in tonight to hopefully cool things off. Thank GOD!!! I so want to go for a bike ride.

Killer seats!!!!!!

I just got killer seats to see Tim McGraw on Friday night. Ummmmm... yes that's right...4 days before the concert...Awesome Seats!!!!!! Section 103 - Row D - Seats 1& 2. At the Susquehanna Bank Center, Camden, NJ. Erin and I will spend a night with Tim, while our men do whatever they chose to do without us. We saw Tim and Faith Hill last year when the came to Philly and had a great time. Erin mentioned that it was too bad Faith wasn't going to be there this time, but she could find a way to get over it. I just LOVE her..... she is great!!!!!! I'm so happy that she may be my future sister-in-law one day (blog coming soon about this)and that we get along so well.

Ahhh....LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!

Soul Searching

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching this week. Trying to figure out me and my life. I found that a lot of my issues in my life are some what related to my weight. And I’ve been struggling to figure out how to fix it. I know a lot of my weight issues are due to my whacked out hormones. But I can not blame it entirely on that. It wasn’t until recently did I really start to become active and exercise and get my butt moving. We’ve been eating relatively healthy and have eliminated fast food from our lives all together for about a year now. So as I’ve exercised, I’ve found some changes in my body and the way my clothes fit, but no big difference on the scale. Yes I know about “You build muscle when you work out”, so I’m aware of what changes my body is going through. Yet, I’m still not happy.

With my blood work coming back very, very low on Wednesday, it has put me into a reality check that it is now time to do something about the weight. Surgery is done and everything is clear. No more excuses. When I see my doctor on Friday, I will express my concern to him about my levels and see what our next steps can be to improve them. I know he’ll mention this time around about my weight and how it could be playing a factor in all of it. And I’m open to hear what he has to say.

I know I’ve done what I can, and I may just have to push myself harder this time around. I’ve been thinking about joining Weight Watchers again or doing their online thing. Or possibly trying more stricked approach to the South Beach Diet that we’ve done before. I know what I need to do and I know what has worked for me in the past, so I am just doing it now. The thought of spending more money for other people to track my weight and teach me things I already know, seems to be pointless and a waste of money. So today, I decided that I was not going to join WW and that money that would have spent on weekly meetings; I’m going to put away and spend it on me when I meet my milestones. I will only focus on 10lbs at a time and not the big picture. It will take time and I will get frustrated at times, I know this. But I have a really good feeling that this is finally it. I’m going to do it this time. I’m ready.

No Meds

No Meds gives me a Progesterone level of 1.1. Not good!

Keeping Tabs

We had a family picnic on Monday at Greg's parents house. We brought Mom Mom up with us from the beach. Mike and Amy (Greg's Aunt & Uncle) came up so they could finally see their new house. Alexis and Chris came down from NJ, and Steven and Erin stopped by too. We ended hanging out on the deck, talking and enjoying the beautiful day. It was nice. Everyone went in and out grabbing a drink or something to snack on. Greg took charge of the grill, because if he didn't then everyone would have eaten burnt & overcook hotdogs and burgers if his Dad cooked. (THANK YOU HONEY!)

After we ate everyone spread out and I found myself on the deck with Greg's parents, Mike and Steve. Now Greg's Dad is a self proclaimed handy man and thinks he knows how to do everything. He is now building a garage in their back yard to house his 1960 (something) Barracuda. Though this new house they just bought has a 3 car garage already, he felt that a 4th garage was needed. As we were all talking, Greg's mom speaks up and tells Steve and I that one weekend soon Steve and Greg need to come over and help their dad with putting on the roof for the garage. (please note, she told and did not ask) Steve began to let her know that he had to work the 1st weekend and June, but was free any time besides that and would help. She then begins to tell Steve and I that with everything his father has helped us with (and she started going down a checklist of things he's recently done for Steve) that this is the LEAST we could do is come and help him out with this. As she was rattling the checklist off to Steve, I had to bite my lip (I think I made it bleed) I couldn't believe it. Not only did she pretty much tell us we had to come over, she actually has kept tabs on everything. I walked away and went back into the house. Now that was Monday it is now Thursday night and it still bothers me. Here is why....


I believe that family and friends (really good friends) shouldn't keep tabs on anything. You should be willing to help out if needed with no questions asked and expect nothing in return. That's what family and friend are for. Am I wrong to think this way???? (please tell me if I am)

It pisses me off to know that my in-laws are keeping tabs on crap like this. What's truly a shame is, the way they are with us lately has just pushed Greg and I further away. I'm at the point that the next time something is said that I'm not going to be able to bite my lip. And something tells me it's not going to be pretty.

Was Broken and now Fixed

Got an update from the OB's office today. The right tube was still blocked. There was an adhesion in the tube that the doctor blew out. So now both tubes are clear and open! Thank Goodness.

As my good friend told me today...It was broken and now it is fixed!

I'm so relieved!!!

Time for some wine!!!!

The Latest

Surgery last Friday (May 23rd). Went well from what Greg, Mom and all the nurses tell me. Right tube wasn’t blocked and looked good. He did find some endometriosis and removed it. The two incisions that are the size of your pinky are healing well. Was prescribed Vicodin for the pain. I hear it’s a great drug, but can’t tell you since I didn’t have to take any. Damn it!!! Only real side-affect I had was being really, really tired. And when I slept it didn’t feel like I slept a wink. Annoying.

Saturday was Greg's B-Day so we spent the weekend at MomMom's down at the beach. Was a relaxing weekend away. Today is the first day that I feel like I’m back to normal and rested.

I have a call into the nurse to get some advice on what we should be doing now as far as meds for the hormones. I also need to make an appointment to follow-up with the doctor in 3 weeks for all the results from the biopsy he took. Will take care of that when I talk with nurse tomorrow. I can’t wait to meet with my doctor. I know everyone said things look good, but I want to hear it from him. I want to go over the pictures that he sent home with me, so he can tell me what I’m looking at. Yes – I am impatient, can you tell?

That is the latest.....

Can't Sleep Anymore

With the 4 hours I slept coming home from the hospital yesterday and going to bed at 9:30, I can't sleep anymore. It is now almost 4:30AM and I've been lying in bed since about 3:30 trying to force myself to fall back to sleep. Finally decided to get out of bed since just laying there was making me crazy. So my day is now beginning again before the crack of dawn. UGH!!!!

Oh Amnesia - if you're still are having trouble sleeping, call me I'm awake. ; )

Goals for Today

Stay busy,lay low and try not to talk to very many people today. Buy Greg's Birthday gift during lunch. Stay calm and try not to think about anything today.

Yes as the clock ticks closer, I'm more and more on edge. Can you tell?

The Bridesmaid Dress

Alexis picked the dress she wants us to wear for the wedding. It will be Navy Blue and the shoes will be silver. Isn't it pretty.

Want to know…but don’t.

I’ve not Googled a thing about my procedure on Friday. Don’t get me wrong, I so want to read everything there is about what I’m having done. But to keep me from totally losing my mind and backing out of it all together, I’ve not read a thing. Since it’s less than 48 hours away now, I probably won’t. This has been a really, really long month and all I really want is to get Friday behind me. I’ve done well this week and haven’t thought about it much, so that has helped me remain calm. I feel confident that everything will be okay, but I do have that little sense of doubt that something will be found. Guess I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t worry a little. I know Friday morning I’ll probably be a mess and scared to death, but I’m trying to remain calm and keep all my emotions under control. Any suggestions on how not to flip out?

3rd Place so Far

Currently in 3rd is Greg Kirby of DE with a 14.8 pound rockfish.

NKOTB

The New Kids on the Block are BACK. I have no idea why I'm even admitting that I was a fan. But they were THE Boy Band of my early teenage years. So I must be true to myself and to them that I did indeed once love them. I will admit that they were my first (get your head out of the gutter, please)...my first concert. How sad my life was back then. I bet if crawled around in the attic of my parents’ house, I could find all my NKOTB gear that I saved for their big comeback. Yes I was Psychic back in the day...I knew they would be back.

I will say this, watching the footage on People.... I had to laugh. Watching them sing their old songs was just too funny. The girls (older women now) drooling over them had me cracking up. Grown men, trying to bust the moves like they did 15-20years ago. Too funny.....

Will I love them again? I'm not sure...Will I buy their new CD? DUNNO? But I do know one thing Joey is still HOT!!! His wife is so lucky!

Gone Fishing

As I left for the office this morning, I kissed Greg good-bye as he was putting his stuff in Rob's Yukon. They are going fishing, all weekend. I won't see him now until Sunday night. When he's away I miss him. A LOT!!!!

So tonight, I will probably spend time with Dawn (Rob's wife) and probably tomorrow night too. When the guys go away we usually end up having a girls weekend. Guess it works out good for everyone when the guys go away....

Next Week

This time next week, I hope to be on my way home and out of the hospital. I got a call from the nurse this morning. Answered what felt like a million questions for my procedure. As it gets closer, I get a little more anxious each day. I just really want all this behind me already. She gave me a list of things not to do for the next week and on the day of the procedure. Very happy that I’m getting it done first thing in the morning. I’m not allowed to wear my contact or any make-up. Great! Friday morning, I am going to look HOT!

NASA

We found out over the weekend that Eric (Greg's Youngest Brother) is going to be working for company that works for NASA. How cool is that!

Blah

The only way I can describe these past few days is...Blah. The weather has been cool rainy and miserable. So that has helped keep me in this Blah mood I've been in lately. But today the sky is blue, the sun is shinning and the birds are singing. I'm trying to shake the Blah mood and start focusing on what I need to do. I've lost track of the things that I truly need to focus on. Somehow nicer weather always seems to help. So starting right now...no more Blah moods.

Going through the Motions

Today was just a day. I was in a pretty bad mood from the moment I stepped out of the house @ 10:45 this morning. The state of Delaware must have a stupid law that won’t let liquor stores open before noon. We needed to get bottles of wine for both mom’s and couldn’t. So we had to run over to the great state of Maryland which allows their stores to open at 9AM. THANK YOU Maryland. We crossed the state line and went into the first liquor store we saw, grabbed what we needed and headed to Greg’s parents house. Where Steve and Erin were waiting for us to rescue them. Our plan was to drop by for a little while, let her open her gift and head to my parents house. Well that all changed when his mom decided that we should all go to lunch. Ummm…. Not exactly what any of us had planned to do, but okay we’ll go with it….it is Mother’s Day after all. Off to McGlynn’s we go. Table for 6 please. Lunch wasn’t bad. The conversation was actually okay and they weren’t too annoying. They paid for lunch which was even a bigger plus!

Off to my parents house we go. We hang out and talk with my mom and dad for an hour or so. I helped cut veggies for their salad, watched a little TV and then we finally headed out to go on with the rest of our day. Pretty uneventful. Then it's time to head to the mall!

As we walked through the mall I could tell I really didn’t want to be there. My bad mood still hadn’t improved. I was shopping and was miserable…What the hell! I had a coupon for Bath and Body Works to by $30 of stuff and get $10 off. I needed hand soaps, so that is a pretty good deal. But what was even better is that their hands soaps were on Sale buy 5 for $10! SCORE!!!! I am stocked up till Christmas! That was probably the highlight of my day! We went to a few other stores and don’t fine anything that we needed, so we headed home.

The day was spent just going through the motions of having to get things done. For the most part all I wanted to do is spend the day at home in my sweats and be by myself. When I came home I immediately changed in to my sweats and checked my e-mails. A few minutes later I was in tears, balling my eyes out. I received an e-mail from one of my best friends. She was thinking about me today on Mother’s Day. It was a sweet e-mail that showed that she truly understands how I feel and that she knows that this day is pretty hard for me.

The weird thing is…. That is wasn’t until I read her e-mail that I figured out why I was in such a bad mood. Another Mother’s Day and I’m still not a MOM. Guess I was just so tied up in going through the motions of the day to discover deep down why I was in such a bad mood.

My mood has improved since my good cry, still have a little funk now only because it is Sunday night and tomorrow I must go back to work. This weekend FLEW by. We didn’t get anything accomplished that we needed to, which sucks! Next weekend Greg will be at a fishing tournament with Rob, so maybe just maybe I’ll be able to get what I wanted to get done, done or at the very least spend some time at home in my sweats by myself…..Ahhh….. I’m feeling better already….. : )

Anyway Happy Mother’s Day!

Can I just have 1...please?

I've seen this family before on TV. Thought it was kind of odd for one family to have so many kids. At one point they had 16 and then they had another little girl which would make 17 kids. Well if 17 wasn't enough, the mom announced this morning on the TODAY show on NBC, that they just found out on Monday that they are expecting their 18th child. COME ON people 18!!!! I just want 1. Can I have just 1.... please!!!!

This Morning

Greg told me this morning over breakfast that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I would have to agree with him. So for the sake of our marriage, I will stay in the office all day and he can stay in the living room. I will only come down for something to drink and lunch. Thinking it will be best for me not to talk to anyone today, which will be hard to do considering I have meetings for most of the day. Damn it!

$98.00

That is how much it took to fill up the Yukon tonight. That is insane...and it's only going to keep going up. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zero Motivation

Today is my Friday...Yes, you may hate me if you like, I won't hold it against you if you do. I have mountain of work to do and I have ZERO motivation to do any of it. Help me make it through this day…. Please!!!!!

Murder

Yesterday Greg was reading the local section of the paper, when I grabbed it from him in total disbelief. I saw a picture of a guy I went to Middle and High School with. As I read the story of what happened, I sat in total disbelief. He is being charged with first degree murder.

I’ve not had any contact with him since we graduated which was almost 12 years ago. I don’t know what path he choose for his life nor what he’s been doing since High School. He was an outgoing, sweet, smart guy. Who was never in any trouble. He was a great guy who would hurt a fly. So for me to see that he killed someone Friday night, is totally unnerving.

I imagine him sitting in jail, wondering what the hell happened and being scared to death.

I hope the full story comes out about what truly happened that night, and the truth will show that he isn’t a mad killer like the article has painted a picture of him to be. At least I hope he's not...

Cat Walking

There is a lady down the street from us that walks her CAT! Yes....her CAT! I saw her walking it the other day and as I was going upstairs I saw her walking it again tonight. I can understand walking a Dog, but a Cat....come on now people!!!!

Next Week

Is a 3 day work week for me. YES!!!!! Thursday is our 4th Anniversary, so we're taking some time off for us and doing whatever we want. Looking forward to spending some down time with Greg. We need it....

Gonna be a good weekend

Tomorrow we get to do our normal weekend errands, then we get all cleaned up to go see Jake Owen (country singer) at Dover Downs. We've been looking forward to see him for a few weeks. Then Sunday at noon we have Darin's 2nd B-day party and then Erin and Steve are coming down for dinner. Looking forward to doing something different this weekend besides working around the house and running around like crazy folks.

Bugs

The only thing I don’t like about Spring is all the bugs. Ants, bees, flies and wasps. Those are all creatures I could do without.

Pretty Smile

I was told by the girl at Blockbuster that I had a pretty smile. It's not often in this day in age that you receive a compliment from a complete stranger. I thought that was nice of her.

Need Caffeine

Dragging ass today and want to go back to bed. Woke up with a headache that hasn’t gone away yet. Time for some more meds and caffeine to try to see if that will help it go away. Waking up with a headache is just a lovely way to start off your day. Why me?!?

Blank

I have many ideas about things I want to write about. Just seem to have a hard time lately putting them all down on paper. The moment I sit to write I draw a blank…but the moment I step away… the thoughts start flowing again. Why is that? It’s annoying.

A visit with my in-laws

We stopped by my in-laws house this afternoon after we finished running all our errands. Greg’s dad was taking every last part out of a rusted old car that he has had for many, many years. He’s stripping it down to hopefully sell the parts on E-Bay. I’d be shocked if he actually sells one freaking piece out of that car. Something tells me that these parts will end up in the basement like the rest of the old car parts that are currently down there. This man has a serious problem and won’t throw anything away. He’s giving a new definition to pack-rat!

His dad stayed in the garage working on the car while we went inside and visited with him mom. Oh what fun that was. She dug around for information on that latest scoop on how my shopping trip with Erin was last weekend, Alexis’s Wedding, Greg’s job situation and of course… the latest about me and if I was still doing Clomid or not. Here is how our conversation kind of went…..

Donna: So are you still taking the Clomid?
Me: Yea, started a new round this week ( I then went on explaining the mishap last month and how I visited with Ostrum about our next steps. Told her that I would be having the laparoscopic surgery on May 23rd ….blah…blah….blah)
Donna: (Well… she didn’t say much …………She just looked me up and down in her normal degrading fashion….as to say you poor girl you.)
Hate---Hate---Hate!!!!!

Me: Well I’d rather know what’s going on and then take if from there.
Donna: (After a few minutes have passed) We’ll the best part about it is… you get to have a lot of fun trying…(hinting for more details)
Me: Ummmm… well sometimes (as I look at Greg in disbelief, can’t believing that she was actually going there )

Okay - I know she didn’t mean anything by it, but for some reason having my mother-in-law try to talk sex with me just seems down right WRONG!!!

Ahhh....Spring

We've been up since about 7. Listened to the birds for a little while as I tried to wake up. It's been great to have the windows open and the fresh air through out the house! I just love spring!

Going for a really long walk in a little while to a local bagel shop in town. Round trip will probably 3-4 miles. Since the nice weather has been around we've been walking and/or playing tennis almost every night. Finally taking time for ourselves and having fun. It's been nice.

Perfect Day

It's 82 and Sunny. There's not a cloud in the sky and a slight breeze. I consider this to be a Perfect Day!

Rant # 2

Did you ever get annoyed at someone just by looking at them? I have a co-worker (we shall call her Linda) that I absolutely just HATE!! From day one, I never liked her. She is a total kiss-ass and a back stabber. She is only nice to you when she wants help or is looking for information to gossip about. ANNOYING - HATE, HATE, HATE.

But what is more annoying then that is... that every time I walk past another co-workers office on the way out of the department, she is always in there talking! Now I would only guess she has nothing to do since she is in there all the time. And I know she is not talking work with this other girl, because they don’t even work on the same team...

So I say....WTF! When the hell did work become an all day social club?

Rant #1 Today

Up since 5:30…

Sat in the Starbucks drive-thru way to long waiting on 2 Lattes. Wanted to yell at the guy to stop talking and make our damn drinks already.

HATE Delaware Drivers!

The drive into work today sucked ass!

Snobby little High School Brats should not be driving around in a new Ford Mustangs.

I’m putting money on it now that I will get sick. The guy next to me is hacking up a lung and blowing his nose every 5 freaking minutes. Thank God I brought my iPod today.

And….. I can’t leave this place until Greg picks me up today which will be sometime after 4.

So far today has just sucked and it’s only 8:30. Happy Wednesday!!!!

Date Set

May 23rd @ 7:30am I go in for my laparoscopic surgery. I have to be at the hospital @ 6 am. That means I have to get up @ 4:30 to get there on time. Oh man that's going to suck. But at least I'm the first patient of the day.

Next Steps

Talked with Dr. Ostrum today...our next step is Laparoscopic Surgery. Nurse will call me soon to schedule... Doesn't this out patient surgery sound like fun........


For a laparoscopy, the abdomen is inflated with gas (carbon dioxide or nitrous oxide). The gas, which is injected with a needle, pushes the abdominal wall away from the organs so that the surgeon can see them clearly. The surgeon then inserts a laparoscope through a small incision and examines the internal organs. Additional incisions may be used to insert instruments to move internal organs and structures for better viewing. The procedure usually takes 30 to 45 minutes.

If endometriosis or scar tissue needs to be removed, your surgeon will use one of various techniques, including cutting and removing tissue (excision) or destroying it with a laser beam or electric current (electrocautery).
After the procedure, the surgeon closes the abdominal incisions with a few stitches. Usually there is little or no scarring.


Fun stuff........Huh?

Ping Pong Games!

E-mails are Evil! Let the Ping Pong games begin!

Monday Morning Blues

It is overcast and a bit chilly here this morning. A perfect day to roll back over and go to sleep. But I can't because it's Monday... which we all know is the wonderful day that starts another fun filled work week. I have a terrible case of Monday Morning Blues. I wish the weekends weren't so damn short! How sad is it that I'm already looking forward to Saturday already and it's only 9:30am?

Much Improved

This weekend had to be one of the best weekends that I've had with my husband in a really long time. We seemed to be in tune with everything that needed to get done, and we just did it. I only remember losing my cool once while we were putting together a shelving unit for the basement together. It was for a very brief moment, so I don’t think it should actually count…but since I kind of yelled at him, then we’ll count it.

I'm trying to be in the “Now” and not worry about what may happen in the future. If I’m more aware with what is going on at that moment, I will enjoy it more. So far it has worked and I’m able to shut off that inner voice that tends to drive my mind into 100 different directions. I like who I am when I’m in the “Now”. I’m much calmer. Greg said he even thought I did well.

So my report card rating would probably have to be - much improved.

Not Messing Around

Heard from Michelle at my OB’s office today. She was just checking in and wanted to let me know that she faxed the script in for my blood work on Monday. Yahoo…more blood work! How fun!!!!!

During our conversation, I gave her a heads up about what happened last week and how I felt. She then told me that she and Ostrum talked about me and what was going on earlier this week. Sounds like Dr. Ostrums next step is to do laparoscopic surgery. He wants to go in and take a look to make sure I don’t have endometriosis, any polyps on my uterus and how the blockage is on the right tube. WOW!!! He’s not messing around!

Inside, I kind of wish she didn’t tell me because the word surgery freaks me out just a little bit. Knocking me out and cutting me open (yes I know the incisions will be small) and probing around inside me makes me a little nervous. BUT… I know all will be fine and we’ll have a lot more answers about what is going on.

It’s a good thing that he’s not messing around, but I just can’t hide the fact that I am a little scared.

Biggest Loser

I’m not the die hard TV show watcher. I catch shows when I can but don’t make it a point to stop my life because a show I like to watch comes on. I just can't do it...Besides that’s why they created DVR’s. Anyway, a show that I like to catch once in a while is The Biggest Loser. I can relate to the folks on the show and their struggles with their weight. I only wish that I could escape from my everyday responsibilities for 3 months and come back as half the person I am today.

I don’t normally watch the show week to week. But when I do I noticed that Brittany seemed to only lose 2 pounds each week. When others were drop 5lbs or more pounds sometimes. I saw her work her butt off and do the right things, still to only lose 2 lbs a week. I didn’t understand it and I felt so bad for her. I could see her frustration and disappointment. I wondered if there was something else going on that could be hindering her weight loss.

This morning on The Today Show, Brittany was on and talked about her struggle and difficult time losing the weight. She mentioned that towards the end of her time at the Ranch, that she was diagnosed with PCOS. The PCOS was the reason why she was having such a hard time losing the weight. Her hormones were all messed up which made losing weight very difficult. She is currently being treated and will be going to see an endocrinologist.

I found it strange that I just happened to turn on the TV a few moments prior to Brittany telling the world she had PCOS. As she explained what was happening to her and how she was being treated. A felt a sense of relief come over me. I felt the reassurance that I’m not alone and that my problems are true problems and will get fixed.

After last week I was very frustrated with what was going, and lost sight that I truly do have an issue. I had heard of an Endocrinologist before but never knew exactly what they treated. By catching Brittany today, she gave me more information that could benefit me and what I’m going through. I feel like I now have other options to talk to my OB about...Options I never knew I had.

I am a true believer in signs and things happening for a reason. Thank Goodness I turned on that TV today!

Tears for Fears

Last night I cried many, many tears. Why you ask? Because around 8:00 last night, I found out that my period was starting again. Mind you I just had one that started on the 11th and ended on the 15th. So now 4 ½ days later another one is beginning. Why? I have no clue! This is obviously another sign that something is very wrong with my hormones. I was absolutely crushed…You can only imagine the thoughts that went through my head. I sat on the couch next to Greg and stared off into never-never land. Then Greg flipped to John & Kate Plus 8 (a show that I LOVE) and I just LOST it. The sight of those little babies just pushed me over the edge and I couldn’t stop crying. Greg tried to help me by cracking a joke. I eventually calmed down and pulled myself together. Later Greg told me that it would be okay, and we would get this all figured out. I had a hard time falling asleep last night and woke up with slight period migraine this morning. Wanting to stay in bed all day, I forced myself to get out of bed and move on with my day.

I called the OB’s office, the nurse I usually talk to (Michelle) is off, so I spoke to another nurse that I’ve never talked to before. She told me that this could be a sign of ovulation and may not be a true period. She told me to watch it and to call Michelle back on Monday. But in the mean time to go have fun with Greg and see what happens. I doubt that this is a sign of ovulation, since I am taking daily ovulation tests and today it showed nothing. I guess time will only tell what truly is going on.

Odd Week

St. Patricks Day was Monday…Friday is Good Friday…and Sunday is Easter.
This just seems all wrong. Am I the only one having a hard time with Easter being so early this year?

Apology Call

I received a call from the nurse at my OB’s office this morning. She apologized again and told me she spoke to Dr. Ostrum this morning about what happened. From their talk, she wanted to tell me that Ostrum is going to keep me on a few more cycles of Clomid. Which is great! After next month if we were not successful in getting pregnant, he was probably going to send me to an IVF doctor. But since I was on Clomid for 3 months before we found out my right tube was blocked, he wants to give things more time. This makes me happy. Since the HSG test in January, my hormones have been on a rollercoaster ride and I think they need a little more time to more time to get back to normal. I personally think that the blockage is cleared given all the happened after the HSG test. I will see him on the 8th and we will discuss our next steps.

Having time to think about this mess these past few days, I feel that everything will be okay. I’ve always believed that things happen for a reason. Michelle’s (the nurse) forgetfulness may just workout to my advantage and prove to be helpful. The more information I have about how my hormones are doing on and off Clomid will help me and the doctor out in the long run.

This is me trying to stay positive about this whole situation….how am I doing?

HAPPY ST. PADDY'S DAY !!!!!

Time for some Green Beer or an Irish Car Bomb! Hummm... the decisions!

Silly Me!!!

This morning I was on the phone with Verizon Billing department. I talked with a incompetent representative about my cable services and ensuring I wasn’t going to get billed for something I never received. Conclusion…not good…which will now lead me down the path of writing a letter to Verizon about the incompetent employees they have working for them and to let them know I am willing to pay the 100 termination charge and go back to Direct TV, because of their crappy Customer Services. What a way to start of my day.

Then the next call was to my OBGYN’s office. This was to find out why the nurse never called me back last week regarding the next round of Clomid. I figured since I didn’t get a call back that all was normal and she called the script in anyway. So on Saturday I called the pharmacy to see if anything was there for me to pick up. NOTHING! The pharmacist couldn’t do anything without the orders from the doctor. And since I was not in the mood to call the emergency # for a damn prescription and talk to a doctor about my situation, I decided to wait. Knowing I’m missing the window of opportunity here. But hey…maybe the doctor wanted to try something different this month. Just maybe… Again… where is my head!

Well – after talking to the nurse and hearing her apologize about how she F’d up…and how this gives us another cycle before he would refer me on to the IVF doctors…Good Grief is all I can say!!!! Silly me for not ridding my doctors office’s ass about this stuff. Won't happen again, trust me! My appointment in April should be just lovely.

I was on a mission to get things cleared up this morning. Ha! Again…Silly me!

Sometimes I'd like for it to be about me.

Lately, I just want to be alone and curl up with my thoughts and a good book. Blocking out the rest of the world and their problems. But in the same breath I would love for someone just to pick up the phone and ask me how I'm doing. I would probably fall apart in tears because I truly don't know how I am. I'm not happy nor sad...I feel like I'm just here. I feel like I've been fighting everyone and everything. Yelling at Greg for no reason, yelling at my computer at some of the idiots that I work (Not like they would actually hear me, but it helps), yelling at the idiot drivers. Are you seeing a pattern here? I can't tell you why I'm yelling so much, I just am. Greg says I have issues, which is true. But don't we all?

I have a girlfriend named Dawn, she is one of my best friends. But I don't think I could call her that anymore lately because the past 100 conversations, have turned out to be all about her and usually goes something like this...

Me: Hey, it's me... whatcha up to????
Dawn: Well. Blah.. blah...blah.. (and 30 more minutes of Blah, Blah and more Blah. Durning that time I say maybe 20 words)
Me: Call me back when you get time, got some things to talk to you about.

And of course no calls. E-mails from her are the same way. All about Dawn and a little about wondering how her friend is doing. What is so sad is, Dawn didn't even know about half the stuff that was going on with us trying to have a baby until 2 weeks ago. I told her over lunch, from that point she could see the pain on my face and understood for one freaking moment the world didn't revolve around her life's issues.

Thinking it's time for me to go make some new friends.

My Name

My first name is Laurie (for those of you who didn't already know this). It is pronounced LAWR-ee. It is is a variant of Laura or Lori. Now I don't believe I have a very difficult name to remember. Half the time people call me Lori and I don't even twice about correcting them. Because it just isn't worth my time to correct them. But I do pronouce my name as Lawr-ee not Lori. So my point here is that the one thing that really makes my skin crawl is when people call me Laura or Lauren. I hate it. Hate...Hate...Hate!!!! That is not my freaking name and it will never will be.

So now, please explain to me why folks I work with (and have for a while I may add), that are on my daily calls and recieve mulitple e-mails a week from me still fuck up my name? Huh...Huh????

The thing that is most annoying is I've already corrected them verbally and in e-mail. For the Love of God get it right already!! My name is not that hard. Is it to much to ask that you do me this one favor and get my name right. Come on! It is L-A-U-R-I-E not L-A-U-R-A!!!!!

Visit from the Pet Police

We had a visit from the Pet Police first thing this morning. I of course was pretty pissed that the even showed up. But anyway that's just me. All he wanted to know is what had happened and how I got bit. I explained to him all the lovely details about the 2 hours being cooped up in a carrier then being man handled by the Vet assistant. He completely understood and agreed that it wasn’t the cats fault. He just wanted to see that she was up-to-date on her Rabies Shoot and all was well. I had to sign a paper that said she would be in quarantined in the house until the 9th. Which means nothing to me because she is a house cat and never goes outside. So this should be the last time we ever get a visit from the Pet Police again. Now I can put this whole mess behind us and move on.

3 pissed off Cats and 1 infected finger later.

Friday afternoon we had a 4:15 appointment to take all 3 of our cats in for their yearly check-up. Of course we had the normal I'm not getting in that damn carrier from 2 of our cats. But that was to be expected. So we get to the appointment about 10 minutes early with the hopes we would be in and out by 5, which is normally the case. While Greg entertained our cats, I checked them in. There were other folks waiting and so I didn't think much of it. We sat, waited and watched all the cute dog and cats that folks were picking up or bringing in. It was very entertaining for us, but the cats weren't as amused.

Time kept ticking away and the cats became more upset. By now they have been coped up in their carriers for well over an hour. I could tell by the growls and the occasional hissing that they were beyond mad and getting pretty pissed off. Not only do I have 3 pissed cats on my hands, I also had to deal with the attitude from my husband about how we shouldn't be waiting this long to be seen. By now it's well past 5:15. I'm beginning to get pissed myself. Then....one of the many assistance working there calls us and takes us back in to one of their many exam rooms. She tells us the vet would be a few more minutes. I think...well okay, no problem.

I took Cleo out of her carrier and got her ready for the vet. Felix and Sophie were in the other carrier still pretty pissed and determined not to come out. So we let them sit in there with the door open. Neither one of them budged. Cleo decide to continue to growl an burry her head between my arm and my side and hide. How she could breath I have no idea. By this time 10 more minutes had passed and still no vet. Tick...tock...tick...tock and another 10 minutes went by and still no vet. By this time, I'm ready to go out front and ask them what the hell is going on. Then finally he shows up. About FUCKING time!!!

So we explain to him that all 3 are here for normal check up and shots. I hand over Cleo and she is hissing away, but she in normally bitchy like that, so no surprise there. So I helped the vet and petted her while he checked her over. All was good. He gave him her shots and back in the carrier she went. Felix was next, now at this point he's pissed and is hissing too. Now I must note Felix and Sophie NEVER hiss - they are laid back and very happy cats. Happy wasn't the case for either one that day. I can't necessarily blame them, I'd be pretty pissed off too if I was cooped up for almost 2 hours. I had to pet and talk to Felix too while the vet checked him over. 1st shot he turned and hissed at the vet. 2nd shot..well he didn't like that one either. So into Greg's arms he went. Then it was Sophie's turn...this is where it all went down hill. The Vet assistant reached in and grabbed Sophie by the back of her neck and pulled her out. OH that was a BIG no-no with Sophie. Hissing all the way. So I talked and petted Sophie while the vet checked her out. She was not having any part of it. Then the first shot went in and she freaked. The vet stopped and the same assistant helped hold her down to finish that shot. Then onto the 2nd shot. With all her might, Sophie tried to leap from the table... back legs straight up on the table and the assistant still had her by her neck. At that point as she was halfway in the air, she let out this very high pitched scream which freaked me and Greg out. So I go grab Sophie to help them and her out and don't you know... she bites me. Now I'm not talking she nipped the top of my skin type bit. She chomped down and went in deep. I was shocked!!!! Our quietest cat just bit me. WTF!!!. Now at this point I apologizing to the vet on how she is acting and there were more worried about me because I got bit. So I wash my hands and asks for a band-aide to help with the bleeding. My first thought was I'm glad she bit me and not one of them. Off Greg goes to put them in the car while I pay. For what will be the last time I plan on walking back into that place.

Now we get the cats home and give them treats and love on them and play with them to make them feel better. I went and took a good look at my finger. Sophie got one good puncture into the top of my finger below the first knuckle and underneath at the same spot, and some minor little scraps a few other places. Didn't look too bad. Until a few hours later. My finger swelled up to double it's size. By this time, I thought maybe I should get it checked out. But it was 9:00 and I didn't want to go to the emergency room. That would just be a big mistake. So I told Greg to take me to the Newark 24 hour Care Center. We headed out and he called his mom who is a nurse. She thought that we should wait and see how things were over the weekend and see the doctor on Monday and give it some time to heal. So my dumb ass decided to listen to her and Greg and we turned around and went home. I had plans Saturday morning with my mom, Dawn and her mom to do a stamping class. I wasn't going to miss it. So i wrapped my figure up and headed out Saturday morning. The swelling looked to have gone down and I figured all was well. Dawn's mom is a nurse and she said she would take a look at it too. GREAT more positive reassurance. Sure enough she said, it looked of and to soak it and keep it clean and all would be okay. I figured okay, I must have overreacted and should not worry. Well the next time, I'm doing what the little voice inside of me tells me to do and I'm not listening to anyone else. By the time I got home, the area's around where she punctured me at started turning red, and my figure was turning a lovely shade of purple. YEA... that didn't look so good. So I told Greg I wanted to go over to our local Emergency Medical Center in town and get it checked out. And after about 5 minutes of me explaining to him that I would like for him to go with me, he reluctantly came with me. Now to him, I was messing up his plans for what he wanted to do that day around the house and I was being a baby. Which pissed me off to no end, because I felt like no matter what I do, I'm on my own when it comes to things like this for me. I dropped and stopped everything when he sliced the side of his pinky finger off three weeks ago. I didn't even think twice... I just went. So the fact that he was choose house work over sitting with me at the Emergency care just rubbed me the wrong way. But that's a different story for another day. I went a saw the doctor and don't you know, my finger is infected and need antibiotics.Not only that I needed a tetanus shot, since I can't tell you the last time I had one.

To some up this really long story, my advice to you is this....always listen to that little voice inside you thats telling you what to do. Because it is usually right. Don't listen to other people around you. They aren't the ones that have to suffer with what is wrong.

As for my cats, they are all back home being very happy and loveable. Greg and I have decided to never take them to that vet again and to go with who our neighbor recommended. She is a vet that makes housecalls. That's right the vet come to you and your animals. She decided to start doing this because she saw how upset the cats and dogs got when they came to see her. She isn't that much more expensive then our normal vet. So if we have to pay a little more for our pets not to be put in that type of situation again the so be it. I'm all for it.

3 sides to every story...

I believe every story has two sides to it...your side and my side. Well sometimes it has three sides...your side, my side and the truth.

A few months ago, my mom told me that she received a letter from our Eye Doctors office saying that Dr. Dave sold his part of his practice to his business partner Dr. Amy and was no longer with the practice. Dr. Amy would be taking on all of his patients going forward. When I heard the news, I didn't think much of it. I soon had to get new contacts so I made an appointment to see Dr. Amy. During my visit, I asked what happened to Dr. Dave and if he moved his practice somewhere else. I was shocked to hear that the office had no idea where Dr. Dave was. They said that he sold his practice to Dr. Amy and was going to spend more time with his 3 girls but would help Dr. Amy out for a while as she took over the practice. They told me he left for a two week vacation and never came back. No one had heard from him. I was shocked that he would just up and leave and not contact anyone. I worried if he was okay, if he could have been hurt, killed or did something stupid to himself. I then crossed those thought out of my mind, because the Dr. Dave I knew was so carefree and easy going that he could never hurt a fly. I hadn't been back to the Eye Doctors for a few months now. But I often wondered whatever happened to Dr. Dave? Would I see him at Acme one day as I had done in the past. Well this morning on the front page of our paper, I got my answer.

As I read this I was/am still in shock. But as I said, there are many sides to every story and to this one I believe there are 3. Her side, his side and the truth. I do believe that what he has done is wrong. I hope the girls are okay and they will all be found safe and okay. I'm sure this isn't the last time we have heard about this.

Things I wish I could say today to the folks I work with.

Read....yes actually Read your e-mails. No I'm not just putting all this information in the e-mail for my health. If it say's in big red letters MUST READ! I think you better read it.

There are processes in place for a reason. Yes - you must follow them.

Make up your damn mind about how many people you freakin need on your team already.

Stop crying about not liking the people who we pick to join your team. Be lucky we are getting you more help. Oh wait... you want to be involved now in the process. Well have at it....the interviews are all yours. I'm done.

I could care less how busy you are. I'm swamped too...stop crying about it. Move on!!!!

Stop playing mother-may-I and do your damn job already. Make a decision for yourself for once. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.5 hours later

Greg left work tonight a little after 5:00. He walked into the house at around 7:45. What normally is an 45 minute drive took 2.5 hours tonight. This extended commute is from the lovely winter storm that decided to turn to an ice storm right before rush hour. Almost every road he could take to get home had an accident on it and shut down the road. I called him an hour and a half into his drive and he had only gone 6 miles. We all know that traffic in Delaware sucks on any given day. But when you add winter weather it gets 100 times worse.

My Smoke-free Mommy

For the first time ever, I can tell you that my mom has officially quit smoking. It's been over a month now that she's not had one of those nasty cancer sticks and I am thrilled for her! I think this time she has quit for good. Congratulations Mom! I'm proud of you...

Typing

I think faster than I can type so there are many times I leave off letters to words or even add letters to the end of words. I normally catch these mistakes after I hit the send button, which makes me look like a total idiot!!!! I must learn to slow down and profread before I hit send... then maybe I won't feel so much like an idiot... Ugh!!!!!

Sorry

If my attitude has sucked lately...I apologize.

My part is done!

I recently threw together a website for my Family Doctor. We had been talking about this for well over a year now. She has given me little input/pictures or ideas about what she wanted. The only thing that I got is she wanted it to be very simple, clean and easy to use. That was all the input that she gave me. So I researched and spent many of hours looking at different sites to come up with ideas for her site. With all the research I did, I also sent many e-mails requesting ideas and thoughts. Many e-mails gone without a reply. So over the last week or so, I litterly pulled a template out and put some information on it, and made it look really pretty.

On Saturday, I sent her the link and asked for her thoughts and ideas. I told her I needed images to complete the site. Image only she would have. Again, I got no response. Until I went in for a normal check up and saw her today. She said she looked at the site and she liked it and nothing else was mentioned. No next steps....lets tweek this part... NOTHING! So with that, I figure that my part of the deal in now done and the ball is in her court to contact me if she wants anymore work done on it. Seems like when I offer to help, I get shit on, so I'm not going to worry about it anymore. I'm moving on to my next project.

Suspicions

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE Tim McGraw. What can I say, not only can he sing but he is also very HOT!!!! Don’t believe, take a look at his latest video Suspicions! Oh my GOD the Leather pants!

Oh please….

I just heard on a call that a lady who we work with has now decided that she wants to be called Cindi instead of Cynthia. Oh please…pick a freakin name already!!!! Some people are just to high maintenance…

Fast Food Sucks

It is very rare that we eat any type of fast food anymore. Which is good, because the majority of it is bad for you and is crap anyway. But today I decided to grab something to eat while I was out during lunch. They just built a new Hardees in town, so I decided to give it a try. Needless to say half of my lunch in now in the trash. Yuck…the burger was greasy and just not very good. The fries where okay and I’m sad to say the best thing about this meal was my soda. So for the one off attempt in picking something up for lunch today, I guess you can say I got what I paid for. $5.19 of crap. Looks like I’m back to no fast food again.

And my head goes....

Thump...thump...thump...

Miserable Day

I woke up this morning with a massive headache and what I believe is the beginning of a sinus infection. What the hell! I slept like crap last night so that isn’t helping my case at all today. As I dragged myself out of bed this morning and looked outside, I realized I might just be having another one of my “Human Barometer” days. It is cloudy, windy, rainy, cold and down right miserable outside. Hence on days like today - I get to feel just as bad as mother nature is feeling. Which is freakin miserable!!! Oh,how these days suck!!!

Now if I could only get the drums in my head to stop pounding.

No Need to Worry

Just got off the phone with by Doctors office. There is no need to worry...everythng I'm experiencing right now is completely normal. THANK GOD!!!! The phone call on Friday was to schedule my progestrone test for Monday, Feb. 4th. So everything else is fine. The nurse was actually pretty excited to let me know that everything that is happening was normal and is a GOOD thing. This makes me feel so much better!!!

Seems to be getting worse

I had my HSG Test done on Tuesday. I didn't have much discomfort during or after the procedure. Go me!! I had some slight mild cramps but they came and went on Wednesday and Thursday. No biggy. Yesterday they weren't bad but I noticed them more than the prior two days. Today the cramps have been constant all day. I've googled everything I could think of about the side effects of the HSG test and all signs are pointing to this to be normal. (Warning this next comment maybe TMI). There is some signs of blood when I wipe, but I'm not bleeding, bleeding (if that makes sense). I don't have a high fever and I don't have sever belly pain. So like I said, all signs seem to be pointing to normal. However the fact that these cramps have increased today, makes me kinda worried that something maybe wrong. So I'm freaked out just a little. I'm going to keep an eye on things and see how I am tomorrow. If I still feel the same I'm going to call the on-call doctor to see if something maybe going on.

To add to my worrying, my doctors office left a message for me on Friday morning on my work number and wanted to talk to me about the test results. So now my head is racing even more. Guess I'll have to wait till Monday to see what additional information that they have for me.

ONE BIG MESS

Did you ever have a day that you felt like everything is just one big fucking mess? This is my day today and it is driving me CRAZY. So to keep me from jumping out my window, please share with me your thoughts on how you deal with days like today.