Good Morning

I'm awake this morning by 6am. This seems to be the norm for me these past few weeks. Yesterday was a pretty good day. The first day in a long time, I had a bit of energy to me. I actually enjoyed the day, was in the moment and not stressed out in any way. I can't tell you how great that felt.

We bought the paint for the nursery yesterday. Today we'll work on cleaning out the rest of the room to get it ready for painting. Greg has until the end of July to get the room done. I think if we stay on target we'll have no problem. I confess I've not touched a thing in that room in weeks since I've been sick so the fact the room isn't cleared out yet is all my fault. But you know me...procrastination is what I do best sometimes.


The baby is kicking away like crazy. It's so amazing. I can't being to explain to you how blessed I feel right now.

Baby Updates

I'll be 27 weeks tomorrow. We went for an ultrasound last night to check on the placenta previa. Wonderful new is that it's moved up and I'm out of the monitoring phase now. That will probably be my last ultrasound appointment, unless the doctor wants to monitor the size of the baby going forward. This makes me kinda sad, that I won't have any more pictures of the baby until he/she comes out. Went on Tuesday for the Glucose test. Waiting to hear on the results of that test. Hopefully that has checked out alright.

Mom went with us last night to see her grand-baby. She didn't mover her eyes from the screen. It's was nice to have her there. We got some very cool ultrasound pictures of the baby. I'll post a few once I get them scanned in.

Here are the latest stats on Baby Kirby:

The baby weighs roughly 2 lbs 7 ounces
The measurement of the head shows the baby to be 29 weeks. The measurement of the waist shows the baby to be almost 28 weeks.

With the weight and size of the baby it's now showing my due date to be around 9/2. But we should use the date given to us early on (which is 9/12) since that is more accurate then the 9/2 date. This just means the baby is growing quickly.

All the scans that Mary took of everything else look to be normal.

So right now, here is what I think:
This baby is going to have a big head and will probably be on the 9+ pound mark! Oh my!
Depending on the size of this kid, will now depend on the type of delivery we have. I'm still hoping for a vaginal delivery.
I'll probably deliver in early September or possibly late August at this point.
I still think it's a girl.

I can't believe how quickly time is going by. Our little one will be here before you we know it.

Long 3 weeks

Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since I get bit by this virus that has done everything to kick my ASS. I can't remember the last time I was this sick even with the flu. I am on the tail end of it now for which I am very thankful. Sleeping has improved, but these days of waking up by 5 and 6 am is for the birds. And it's not like I'm napping away my days either....WTF!

But all in all... I'm feeling better! Baby is fine....I've lost 4 pounds with this thing. You don't want to see a weight loss while pregnant but what can you do when your sick. I'm sure I'll make up for it this month.

Movement

The little one has been pretty active these past two days. Last night Greg was able to feel the baby move a bit for the first time. It wasn't very strong, but he felt something. All the movement makes it so real now. For a while you just have an ultrasound to go by that tells you your pregnant. Or the monthly check-up that you can listen for the heart beat. All are very cool. But to actually feel your baby move inside you for the first time is AMAZING!

Time if flying by. We'll be 6 months on Saturday.

Hi - just checking in. Half way there!

I am 20 weeks this week... Feeling the best that I have felt in a really long time. Looking forward to what's now ahead for me. Lots of changes this past month, personally and professionally. Working through that rocky road, but will be okay. Closer to finding the true me and I'm much happier. Guess some away time is always needed sometime. Trying to stay positive and hope for the best.

Tomorrow is our 5 year Anniversary...Taking the day off! Not sure what we're doing tomorrow, but working is one thing I won't be doing. Our plan was to go back to Turks and Cacious for our 5 year Anniversary, but with Greg being laid off we've had a change of plans. So instead we are treating ourselves to a concert next Friday, dinner at the beach (Striper Bites) on Saturday and a long weekend away at mom-mom's. So bit of a delayed celebration for our anniversary, but that's okay. It will be simple and fun. Back to the basics for us...It's kinda nice.

Hope everyone is well. I'll be in touch soon... just wanted to say Hi!

I miss her...

Lately I've been thinking about my life and how I can simplify things. I've been thinking about every aspect of my life. What's around the corner for us; our friends and how complicated some of them are; family and how dysfunctional ours seems to be sometimes; the past and our lessons that we've learned from it. No matter how much I think about all these things, I feel like a piece of me is lost. I feel empty. I've been trying to find the old me and I've not yet been able to find her. So starting tomorrow, I'm changing the way I think and how I do things. All with the hope to find me. I miss her...I miss being happy. I'm not going to consume my life with technology anymore, I'm going back to the basics. This is going to be my last post for a really long time. I need some time to find me. I hope you all will understand.

Bye for now...

14 Weeks Tomorrow

After a really rough week last week, this week I'm feeling much better. I know I'm back to normal as I'm up ever 2 hours like clock work to pee at night. This makes me feel good and I hope things will keep improving from here.

Greg is sick, so I hope I don't get this bug that he caught from the doctors office on Monday when he went in for a routine check-up. Heck of a thing... you go to see your doctor and your well. The next day you feel like crap, all due to the girl that was sitting in the waiting room coughing and sneezing and making a bunch of lovely other sounds. Poor Greg...feel better soon honey!!!!

Last night we ordered all the bedding for the baby! I'm so excited...we kept coming back to this style so we knew it was the right one for us. Once we get the bedding we can decide on the color for the room and begin painting. We're making progress in cleaning up the two rooms and that makes me happy. Hopefully this weekend I'll have that back room mostly cleared out.

I'm scared...(there I said it)

The last few weeks have been emotionally tough for me.
Birthdays of loved ones that are here and that have passed have come and gone.
People in general are just annoying me lately and feel like I just need to crawl in a hole and be alone for a while.
The stress of life has gotten the best of me... the Laurie Rock has began to crumble.
Not feeling well last week pushed me over the edge with everything.
Could it be pregnancy emotions? Yes, but I can't blame what I'm feeling all on the pregnancy.
I'm scared.
No matter how positive I try to be, reality comes knocking on my door.
I just want to cry and then I'm told to stop crying.
Everyone is worried about me and I'm worried about myself.
My friend tells me that she misses the old me and wants me to be happy.
I feel like I'm juggling a hundred balls at once and can't keep up.
I know that all the worrying I'm doing is not helping me at all. But it's so hard not to when the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
Times are tough...We think we're in control of our lives but we are not.
Everything I do seems like a test for me.

The only thing that is a positive in my life these days is this child. No words can express how happy I am. This is the one thing I'm not scared about.

I worry about where we'll be 6 months from now. I can only pray it will be better than what it is today.

Snowday

Since we're getting pretty hammered by this snowstorm today, a good deal of things are shut down. Today is a day, I really wish I didn't have the ability to work from home. I'd call out of work and really enjoy the weather and the day!

12am and Rambling

This weekend was sort of a wash for us, we didn't get much accomplished. Sunday I woke up earlier and had the bright idea of going to the store before all the snow crazed church folks got there. Went to Super G and Willey's and got everything we needed and we were back by 10:30. I think I took a brief nap around 12:30 then spent most of the day sitting on my butt doing as little as possible. A bit of wash was done and some laundry was put away. I had every little energy to do anything. I had a headache that was ever so slight, but just enough to be a pain in the butt. Of course I didn't take anything for it. So it stuck around all day, until I went to bed a little after 9. It is now midnight and I am awake...WTF! I woke up starving so I came downstairs and made myself a bagel and I'm sipping on some OJ. Tired as hell, but can't seem to go back to sleep. Still feeling a bit blah...Ugh. It's going to be a long night!

A foot or more is expected in the area over the next day, so things are sure to be a mess around here for a while. This will be the first real storm we've had in almost 3 years. Forgive me if I sound a bit shocked...I think the weather guys finally got the forecast right for a change.

So I sit here rambling on this blog, trying to think about a millions things that will put me back to sleep. I'm hoping Monday will bring a better day...somehow I doubt it will because it means work begins all over again. I sure do hope I feel better in the morning. Guess I better try to go back to sleep now. Wish me luck!