Horoscopes

For the past few weeks, I've had been reading my horoscope in the local paper. They have been pretty interesting to read because they have been dead on with the things that are happening in my life. Kinda creepy if you ask me. Just a little while ago, I was cleaning up getting ready for bed and read what my horoscope was for today. And it read.....

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You're entitled to change your mind, which you'll do repeatedly as you keep adjusting priorities. Hopefully, you are inching yourself higher on the list.


I've been going through a lot these past few weeks and I've had time to think about everything. But the main thing I've been thinking about is how can I work on me. I've been so crazed, that I've put everything before me. I've recognized that this has got to stop and I have to take better care of me. Because if I'm not happy, then how can I make anybody else happy. I try so hard to please everybody and take care of them, that I've not taken care of me. So it's definately time for a change. Taking care of myself is higher on the list then I think it ever has been in my life.

When I read my horoscope today... in black and white, it was just another little sign to me that tells me I'm on the right path. My priorites have changed...I'll keep adjusting them until I'm happy with they way that they are.

Direct quote from my Doctor....

"These latest lab results must be wrong, or I don't know what is wrong with you."

Ahh... okay, not exactly what I was expecting to hear. But we do know that I still have this UTI infection that we just can't shake. Took this week off (vacation) to have some down time and rest. It's Friday and I'm not feeling any different. I'm back on another course of antibiotics to treat this infection. I'm really tired of being in pain. Went and had an ultrasound done of my kidneys on Wednesday...the radiologist said they looked fine, and my doctor would have the results that afternoon. Since I've heard nothing from my doctor I'm guessing things look okay.

So if my doctor thinks the test results can't be right... why don't we do another test you ask?
Two reasons: #1 my period hit me on tuesday, so that will show blood in the urine and mess up the test (TMI...I know). #2 since I'm on more antibiotics, the test won't read correctly until after I'm done this third round of antibiotics. So I have to wait until the above 2 things are done to get a correct read to determine where we are with this infection.

I go back to see my doctor @ 8:45 Monday morning, to see what the game plan is. I'm thinking I will possibly be taking a visit to another doctor to see what is wrong. My body is just being one big pain the ass right now.

HA!!!

I have my OBGYN appointment tomorrow afternoon for my yearly check up, and to talk about BABIES!!!! Oh... this conversation is going to be fun! I get to explain to him that for an entire month,I've been sick with this crap and haven't been in the mood for anything lately let alone sex. So much for trying...My poor husband!

This has got to stop!

A month with this UTI and now irritable bowel has got to stop. Tuesday was my last day of antibiotics (2nd round). From how I feel, I don't think it helped. I go for another pee test on Friday to check for the infection. Back to the doctor Tuesday to see what the results are. Doctor says my body is too stressed out to get better and I need to take time off from work. Two sick days last week just didn't help . So more time off for me. When? Soon. How long? No idea, that's the call for the doctor to make. I just want out of pain.

It is what it is

I've had some time to think about what Mikey is doing with the whole military thing. I know that there is nothing any of us could do to change his mind. I knew that when I talked to him. I'm mad at him, because of the secretive way he went about this whole thing. But then again if I look at it from his eyes, this was probably the best way he could handle it. Knowing everyone would react this way.

Do I think he's ready for the military... No! Can he physically do it this... YES! Mentally....I'm not sure if he'll make it. When we talked, he had this cockiness about him. The... "It's not going to happen to me attitude", that's why I feel he's not ready. It's that type of attitude that can get you killed. I just don't want him being another war statistic we hear about in the news every night.

Like I said...I've had time to think about it...and it is what it is. He's going to do what he wants to do, it's his life. This maybe the best thing for him, and it maybe what he personally needs. But for some reason, I just can't picture the carefree, independent, beach lover and avid fisherman making it in the military. He loves this stuff too much. How can he just walk away from it all, and give up his life as he's always known it to Uncle Sam? Come on...He hates being tied down to one girlfriend for a long period of time.

Regardless of what he does, he is family and we have to support him and his decision. The military is a very honorable thing to do. I just wish Mikey would have said that to me...then maybe I could take him a little more seriously.

Family Stuff

This was the subject of the e-mail I received from Greg's cousin Alexis. Hadn't heard from Lex in a while, so it was good to hear from her. But what she had to tell me is hitting the rest of the family pretty hard. Something we never thought we'd have to be faced with. Her brother Mikey made an annoucement Saturday night at dinner that he enlisted himself in the Marnies on Friday. Now he is 22 and is more then capable to make his own discissions however, everyone in the family is telling him that he is making a BIG mistake! All of his reason's that he's giving everyone are BS reasons and excuses. "He's borded living at the beach and he wants some adventure." is what he told his parents. Which in no way is an acceptable answer for any of us.

I've talked with him and his mind is pretty much made up and it doesn't look like any of us can change his mind. Am I angry at him? Yes! I'm angry about the way he is handeling this whole situation. His reasons are BS, and I don't think he knows what the hell he's getting into. Greg is so angry at him that he can't even talk to him. So the hurt that I see in my husbands eyes kills me. He can't even talk to his own cousin. They are very close, and he can't even talk to him. GOD!!!!

So what now? We have until Wednesday to talk him out of it... because on Wednesday he has to go up to Dover and they will take him to Annapolis over night for physical evaluation and test... and then it would be offical. Mikey would be a Marine! He would then leave for boot camp in October... and God only knows what after that!

I told Mikey that there was no way that I could understand why he is doing this. I don't think any of us can. So I told him at one point during our conversation, that if this is what he had to do then I guess there wasn't anything any of us could do to change his mind. Lord knows I tried to pull out all the stop of why he shouldn't. But I guess you can't change someone's mind, once they have it made up. From what he said, he's know he was going to do this for a long time. He just didn't tell anyone because he knew we'd react this way.

Mikey say's he ready to be a man... So I think, if he's man enought to enlist. Then he is man enough to stand in front of his Grandmother who is 83 and tell her that he is joining, and not hide like a coward from the rest of the family!

If Greg can't convince Mikey that it's the wrong thing to do, then maybe Mom-mom is the person that will get to him. God I hope someone can! He's told his friends and close buddies and now the family is slowly finding out...and no one thinks this is a good idea. Now shouldn't that tell him something??????????????

I know this is his decision and maybe this is what he needs. I've thought about that too... maybe Mikey needs this, and none of us are listening. But I can't help but think that Mikey is writting his own death sentance by enlisting. Our family isn't a miltary family. But in three days, I guess we will be. Life as we know it, is going to change forever!

Results are in....

Cat Scan showed no Kidney Stones...woohoo!!! Urine test showed I still have a UTI/Kidney infection. UGH! So the doctor wants me to drink, drink, drink...and try to flush my system out. No meds...nothing! Call her on Monday and see how I'm doing...and go back and see her again! So another 3 days of pain and running to the bathroom every twenty minutes! UGH!!!!!! God I hope this clears up soon.

Go Figure....

I'm never making plans to do anything again! Because when I do, I never get to do them anyway. On top of this lovely pain that I'm STILL having..I have a head cold. So does Greg... Go figure! Today we took the day off for a long weekend to spend at the beach at his grandmothers. But since we're both sick, we are home! DAMN IT!!!! I so wanted to go spend a nice relaxing weekend at the beach. We've had no time off this summer and we both needed to get away! We're feeling better today, but won't risk going to his grandmothers and getting her sick. We just can't do that to her. So here we are watching movies and taking it easy. Oh well...maybe we'll feel better tomorrow and still get to put our feet in the sand for a little while this weekend. Maybe...just maybe!

Do you have Kidney Stones?????

Well gosh Doctor...Do I???????????


You may know that for the past few weeks, I’ve not felt my best. First I thought I pulled a muscle in my back. Then since the pain didn’t go away, and got worse…I went to the doctors. Went through the process of elimination and determined that I had a Kidney Infection. GREAT!!! So they start me on antibiotics to help fight the infection. I finished up my meds on Sunday, and didn’t feel much better. Actually I feel worse, since the pain has moved from my back to my groin area. I called the doctors yesterday and made an appointment for this afternoon.

So this afternoon, I saw my doctor and had a lovely visit with her. She was away two weeks ago when this all started and I saw her brother Bill. (My family doctors are a brother and sister team, which took over their father’s practice when he passed away. I prefer to see Beth, but if she’s not around I’ll take Bill, both know me pretty well). So after I brought Beth up to speed on what is going on and why I was there today. I showed her where the pain was and where it is now…. She looked at me with all seriousness and asked…. “Do you have Kidney Stones????” I began to laugh… and said.. .”Well I don’t know Beth, I was hoping you’d tell me why I'm in so much pain” So with that…she’s asked a few more questions, and wrote down a lot of notes, and we talked for about a half hour about everything that was going on in my life and caught up.

Next steps: Another urine test and a Spiral Cat Scan to check for kidney stones.


What else developed in our discussion...

BP was 97/60…, which is great! With a new supplement I’ve been taking and eating right and losing weight. She wants me to stop taking my BP med and see how I do without it. Which is even better news, especially since were trying to have a baby. (So now my mother-in-law can get off my back about that one).

Don’t jump up and down for joy for me yet. Area of concern is my heart rate. My heart was racing…I told her it probably was, because I could not get calmed down. She wanted to know if it was Anxiety related with everything that has been going on, and I told her yes. Today –was one thing after another at work, and I rushed to get over to the appointment. It was hot in the waiting room, I’m not feeling well and I just couldn’t relax….and...and..and...and! We talked some more since this concerns her, and she wants to keep an eye on it. So… in two weeks I go back for a heart rate and BP check.


But the main concern is the pain that I'm having...I hope to get in for the Cat Scan soon..I'll call first thing tomorrow morning for an appointment. I hope I don't have to wait to long. Needless to say this saga will continue....

The OBGYN called!

My OBGYN’s office actually kept their word. My doctor called me back personally yesterday, with the results of my ultrasound and our next steps. I didn’t have to make any follow-up calls this time or anything. He called me at work and talked with me like he’s known me forever. Which was great… I’m so relieved…finally someone is working with me instead of against me. So…. what did he say….

Ultrasound that was done on 7/30 came back looking great. Uterine lining and ovaries look really good. No cysts – which I knew last week when I left, but is good to hear coming from your doctor. Asked me if he was seeing me anytime soon. Told him no that was why I initially called, because I thought a yearly was scheduled but I never heard anything. He said no problem we’re going to get you in. He asked if we were actively tying and I told him yes. But I told him that it’s hard to determine when ovulation is happening since my cycles aren’t normal and have been anywhere from 5 – 8 weeks long. This is all hormone and stress related which is part of the PCOS. He’s going to send me for blood work to check my hormone levels, which I’ll have completed on the 27th. I will then see him on the 30th for my yearly. Which at that time, I’m sure we’ll talk more. But he did say that…if I’m not pregnant by my next cycle, he’s going to start me on a low dose clomid, which I will be on from day 5 thru 9 on my next cycle. I'll go in to see him and have an ultrasound done to see how the ovaries reacted to the clomid. Then we can go from there!

Since this call yesterday, I’ve been in a great mood! FINALLY a plan is in place, and he’s going to work with me. I can’t even begin to explain how I feel.